Lisa and Frank - a scene

LISA and FRANK – a scene

By Jared Kruger

Lisa:       Completely. Perfectly. Completely and perfectly miserable.

Frank:   Ah, babe it’s not that bad. This isn’t SA. We’ll improve it as we go along.

Lisa:       (standing in the kitchen area) There isn’t even enough room for a tea cup in here.

Frank:   We’ll just have to have the kettle and tea stuff in the lounge. (moving towards the tiny couch)

Lisa:       Doesn’t matter we can’t afford tea anyway.

Frank:   Of course we can. (picks up the two grocery bags from next to the front door. Puts them on the tiny counter and starts to unpack – starting with the wine) No more SA wine for you – Chile.

Lisa:       I hate wine.

Frank:   You’ll learn, it’s an acquired taste.

Lisa:       I don’t want to acquire it.

Frank:   (taking out the box of tea) I will take you to Paris and you’ll fall in love with the stuff – you’ll see.

Lisa:       Paris? Perhaps a job first.

Frank:   Babe, you’ll find something.

Lisa:       Recession and all?

Frank:   You’ve got a qualification from Stellenbosch, that’s something and...

Lisa:       Tea?

Frank:   Here you go (throws the box towards Lisa – she drops it)

Lisa:       Frank, stop fooling around.

Frank:   Sorry babe.

Lisa:       (‘jokingly’ and seductively) Make me some tea.

Frank:   Okay, but don’t think that I am going to be your ‘help’ here.

Lisa:       In that case I should be heading straight on back to SA on the next flight.

Frank:   So, the first thing we need to do is sell my bed. And get us a double.

Lisa:       Typical boy – thinking about the sack already.

Frank:   Well... (moving towards her – tries to kiss her)

Lisa:       (Steps back) tea.

Frank:   Right, okay. Not even just a...

Lisa:       How much does a bed cost, about?

Frank:   About a thousand quid.

Lisa:       That’s, 10 000 Rand. Fucking hell.

Frank:   Don’t think in Rand terms. It’ll only make you mad.

Lisa:      You know, I have a perfectly good bed back in Cape Town – perhaps I could ship it out – perhaps it’s cheaper.

Frank:   No, no. Let’s get our own babe – kinda cool to get our own bed – don’t you think?

Lisa:      Stop being sentimental and all mushy. (pause) I suppose my sister needs it – with her kids getting bigger now. (sits on the couch and sighs) I left them. 11 000 kilometres between us now.

Frank:   Skype.

Lisa:      Little Alice is going to grow up so quickly, they do you know. They learn new things everyday and they add centimetres with each hour they sleep. You know, at the airport.

                (Frank tries to caress her, perhaps grabs her bum)

                Hey. You’re going to have to earn that. Get you cold hands off of me.

Frank:   Fucking hell.

Lisa:       What?

Frank:   I thought that. It has been like 4 months Lisa and I’m going a bit crazy.

Lisa:       (taking her mobile phone out) I need to call my mother.

                (Frank drops, and kicks he box of tea and leaves)